none

So......I saw my ex bf in Wal-mart the other day. He is growing a beard and looks like his dad. Still cute as ever though:)

Really odd dream (moved)

Wow....I had the wierdest dream last night....It involved a resturant, a swimming pool, and Charles Doswell - Don't ask - couldnt tell you if i tried. They say you dream about the last thing you think about before you fall asleep. Thats bullcrap! I dont remember the last thing i thought about, but im willing to bet it didnt involve a resturant, a swimming pool, and Charles Doswell...

Posted By Yours Truly ~Mags~ ----------> 3:07 PM

Beginning to think otherwise

For several months now, I have assumed that my ADD meds werent working anymore, even though i had them changed recently. Im not gonna lie, Iv been a pretty lazy shit. My bedroom is in the basement, and I spend roughly 98.9% of my time down here on the computer. Iv been known to spend an entire day down here. I dont even really eat; yet i still manage to mantain a constant body weight. How the hell does this work out? Well, I was thinking about this a night or so ago, and this popped into my head. I remembered that ADD isnt the only disorder i have, I also have been diagnosed with a Social Anxiety Disorder. I did some reasearch, and came up with this:

(from Wikipedia)

"Social anxiety is an experience of fear, apprehension or worry regarding social situations and being evaluated by others. People vary in how often they experience anxiety in this way or in which kinds of situations. Anxiety about public speaking, performance, or interviews is common. Social anxiety can be related to shyness. The experience is commonly described as having physiological components (e.g. sweating, blushing), cognitive/perceptual components (e.g. belief that one may be judged negatively; looking for signs of disapproval) and behavioral components (e.g. avoiding a situation). Not all cases deal with fear of being judged negatively, as some cases have social anxiety without any specific reason."

That would describe me almost perfectly.

Social anxiety disorder, also known as social phobia, is a diagnosis within psychiatry and other mental health professions referring to excessive long-lasting social anxiety causing relatively extreme distress and impaired ability to function in at least some areas of daily life.

Me, again

"Generalized social anxiety disorder typically involves a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being judged by others and of potentially being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions. These fears can be triggered by perceived or actual scrutiny by others. While the fear of social interaction may be recognized by the person as excessive or unreasonable (and I do), considerable difficulty can be encountered overcoming it."

That last statment would be a huge understatment.

"Physical symptoms often accompanying social anxiety disorder include excessive blushing, sweating (hyperhidrosis), trembling, palpitations, nausea, and stammering."

Check, check, check, check, check. I trip and fall over my words all the time. Especially when I am alone in a large group with people I dont know.

"Prescribed medications includes two classes of antidepressants: selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs) and serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors (SNRIs). Attention given to social anxiety disorder has significantly increased in the US since 1999 with the approval and marketing of drugs for its treatment."

Behavioral Aspects

According to psychologist B.F. Skinner, phobias are controlled by escape and avoidance behaviors. For instance, a student may leave the room when talking in front of the class (escape) and refrain from doing verbal presentations because of the previously encountered anxiety attack (avoid).

The groundless fear of the telephone is typical, both calling somebody and answering the phone. It may appear early in childhood.

I admit, im afraid of useing the telephone.

I also cant accurately put my thoughts into words. I will be given a topic and then asked something like "discribe what this means to you" In my head is a wonderful answer, but I cant tell anyone because I dont know how to say it.





I have done both countless times.

Random Post #1

Im hungry...

Welcome!

Hope you enjoy reading my Everyday Thoughts and Feelings. I am warning you though, I tend to be very random (just thought id tell you that now, in case you get confused. After all, they are my thoughts and feelings).